Cooking Through My First Year Away From Home

Oyakodon with chicken, eggs, and onions

Kaki Okumura
Heated
Published in
4 min readJun 27, 2020

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Photo: Brian Ferrell/Moment/Getty Images

When I moved from Japan to go to college in the U.S., I was excited to start my new adventure and to meet new people. Going to orientation and participating in events, somewhere I thought I would quickly find a group of friends and feel instantly at home. But as the initial excitement subsided, and the celebration of orientation was replaced with the repetitiveness of class, I began to feel a deep loneliness — was it always this hard to make close friends?

Yearning for comfort, I would find myself scrolling through old videos on my phone, and printing out lots of photos of high school friends and family to post on my bedroom wall. I brought my favorite pillow with me, and even pinned up letters from my parents next to my bed. I thought recreating a familiar space would console me when I felt lonely, but despite my efforts, it still wasn’t home. The reality was, I was sharing a single bedroom with a roommate that I wasn’t quite close friends with, in a country far away from family.

On days when I felt particularly homesick, cooking became my escape. Desperate to avoid the crowded dining hall and stress of finding someone to eat with, I would take my big cooking pan and head to the communal kitchen to find some peace alone.

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Kaki Okumura
Heated
Writer for

Born in Dallas, raised in New York and Tokyo. I care about helping others learn to live a better, healthier life. My site: www.kakikata.space 🌱