How Cheeseburger Macaroni Got My Stepkids to Like Me
Or tolerate me enough not to delete my saved shows from the DVR
This is an excerpt from Irby’s new book of essays, “Wow, No Thank You,” a Vintage Paperback Original, on sale March 31.
I’m a good cook, but the thing about cooking meals for children is that sometimes sophisticated ingredients and techniques are wasted on them, and as a person who expects an entire parade after taking the time to BRAISE! A! MEAT!, I knew I was going to have to adjust my expectations and practices.
Listen, it’s not like I would otherwise be making consommé every night, but I have been known to attempt my own pad Thai, and those are not hours that should be spent on a second-grader. Maybe, if I was a chef. But I write a blog. It’s not even a fucking food blog. I write about sadness!
So I decided to arm myself with a bunch of kid-friendly meals so that I might convince my lady’s children to like me, or at least convince them to tolerate me enough not to delete my saved shows from the DVR. I grew up poor, so I know all about those meals where your daily servings of grain, protein, and vegetables are all mixed together in the same murky chicken water. On that note, here is my recipe for a wholesome Midwestern casserole called “Cheeseburger Macaroni.”
