When Mushrooms Start Growing in the Dishwasher, It’s Time to Deep Clean the Kitchen

Gloves on!

Annie Saunders
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A waist-down shot of a maid, seen from behind, holding a bucket of cleaning products in a small room.
Photo: Thana Prasongsin/Moment/Getty Images

Perhaps you’ve heard: We’re all cooking now, whether we like it or not.

In the Before Times, maybe you only cooked a meal a few times a week, between takeout dinners and business lunches and your kid getting two squares at school or daycare. But now? Now most of us are cooking three meals a day, every day, which means our kitchens are getting … gross.

And because we live in a country where a significant portion of the population is too selfish and stupid to just wear a damn mask to protect the health of everyone around them — and, ugh, I’m not even going to get into the myriad failures of the federal government — our constant cooking isn’t going to end any time soon. Thanks, idiots!

First, a disclaimer: I am a Clean Person. I wipe down the stainless steel, scrub the sink, and sanitize the counters at least once a day. It is kind of a lot, especially with a toddler constantly dragging his filthy little hands across the front of the dishwasher, but messes stress me out. I am not suggesting that you are disgusting if you don’t uphold this standard; in fact, I envy you for being so chill.

But my special blend of anxiety and willingness to uphold the illusion of control makes me pretty…

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Annie Saunders
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Annie Saunders is a Pittsburgh-based writer, editor, and researcher.