Protester by Day, Baker by Night
In a world full of chaos and turmoil, baking brings a sense of control
By Marci Mazza-Fredley
I was born with a flame within me. I just never realized how far these flames would stretch.
They drive me to attend protests, rallies, and all things related to activism. I am the youngest active member of Socialist Alternative in Pittsburgh. I am a published author with Girls Write Pittsburgh.
I am a 2019 delegate for the International Congress of Youth Voices and a 2019 recipient of the Robert F. Kennedy Urban Education Award. Most of my days consist of attending writing groups, chanting at political protests, planning demonstrations at youth-led meetings, studying for my next science exam, and working at a bakery. And that’s perfect, because at the end of a tough day, all I want to do is bake.
The rhythm of a whisk breaking apart eggs, the precision and focus of getting the measurements just right, and the hum of my mixers — it’s calming. So yes, by day, I am a political and academic devotee, and by night I am a baker who really loves to decorate cakes.
When I first entered high school, I was miserable. I would get up at 5:30 in the morning, get ready for school, and then sit in a classroom all day just wishing to leave. When I came home after a 10-hour day, I was just as miserable, and I could not understand why.
It was not until the middle of the 10th grade that I was diagnosed with depression and started talk therapy. The only thing that remained constant during this time was my desire to be in the kitchen with a spatula in hand and the smell of vanilla wafting through the air.
It was during these early years of high school that I practiced new baking techniques at home. I advanced my skills in using pie dough, made roses out of sugar gum paste, used tempered chocolate as the focal point of a cake’s design, and developed new cupcake recipes.
The summer between middle school and high school, you would find me baking a two-tiered cake on any given Friday night. That’s not what other pre-teens were doing with their time, I know. I’d come to the conclusion that this was obviously something that sets me apart from those around me. I always desired to be different from everyone else, but I thought that because I can’t sing, dance, or act, I wasn’t someone who was set apart from the crowd: Just simply someone who could mix flour and eggs. What was so special about that?
I started to post my cakes on social media and was shocked people noticed, and they were impressed. Multiple comments would stream in, applauding the cakes, and I realized this was a skill, a talent even, something that did indeed set me apart from my peers.
I love learning. Whether learning about the injustices happening in the world around us (and how I can use my privileges to put an end to them) or learning about the newest modern technique in cake design, I want to learn about it all. I study all of the hottest designs in cake art and how I can put my own spin on them. This started with wanting to master mermaid tails and buttercream flowers, which then evolved into piped chocolate decorations and bourbon-infused cupcakes with bacon.
There is nothing more satisfying than stepping back after finishing a cake and taking that final look at the work you have just created. I often look at a cake I made and think, “I did not even know I could do that.” During those two years when all I wanted to do was sleep my emotions away, I was able to feel confident in something that was always evolving and pushing the limits of edible creation.
Now, as much as social activism is at the forefront of my life these days, the passion I have for baking has never wavered. When activism gets to be very stressful and emotionally challenging work, there are always days where I come home and hide in the kitchen to bake something.
There is never a day that goes by where I do not emotionally struggle with what is happening around the world. Growing up in a generation that has been hand-fed information through social media has made my work as an activist very easy. However, it also allows for gut-wrenching information to be relayed to me just as easily. Following the day-to-day news and seeing another school shooting taking place, another abortion ban being passed, or another police brutality case getting swept under the rug never gets easier. These are the times where I rely on baking the most.
There are plenty of days where I am emotionally and physically exhausted fighting against a system that seems too strong to defeat. Many times, these are the days where I recharge myself by baking a batch of cupcakes or testing out a new piping technique. This is when I describe baking as my escape. This is when I know that I can be on my own, experiment with different things, and make something beautiful that can be eaten. It may not reverse or change the latest hardship that just swept across the nation, but it clears my mind and allows me to relax.
Even baking a small batch of chocolate chip cookies is enough to put me in a place where I am calm and can reflect. Baking gives me an environment where I am in full control.
Regardless of the world around me, I know that when I am in the kitchen, I alone can make decisions about the color and placement of frosting on a cake, the specific pairing of flavors in a cupcake, and the exact amount of ingredients in a new recipe. In a world that seems to be chaotic and in turmoil, this is the one thing that allows me to fully focus on something right in front of me without the worry of disapproval. Everything from sketching out what my next creation will be to the very seconds I am piping minute details on the side of a tier. I am in complete serenity, and time seems to stop.
Marci Mazza-Fredley, 17, is a social activist, artist, baker, feminist, and junior in high school in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She is a member of Pittsburgh’s branch of Socialist Alternative and a former member of the International Women’s Strike coalition.
